On the eve of my Kickstarter for Supertall (live now), I’ve been sitting here working with Buttonshy trying to find the perfect tagline for the campaign. It was very similar to some of the work I had been doing making game summary sheets (i.e. sell sheets) in the last few weeks. The goal of a tag line is to give you a quick impression of the game. People will decide to investigate further based purely on that 10 second reading, so it’s important to make a good impression. With a summary sheet, you have a little more room, because the person is already looking over the whole sheet. But you really want to keep words to a minimum and show the game rather than spend a paragraph explaining it. I thought it might be interesting and helpful to talk briefly about the process we went through in developing that tag line and how it relates to getting the most out of every word.
You might start with something like “Supertall is a 2-3 player game where you use different types of plans to building skyscrapers”. Simply saying a player count and some mechanics is a good start, but doesn’t do much to relate the experience of playing. Plus in this case, the price point ($10) is a big selling point. Lets try again. “Supertall is a 2-3 player game about building skyscrapers from a mix of plans. Only $10 for a fast and highly interactive tower building game.”
We’re headed in the right direction. First, we simplified language, instead of saying “where you use”, we made the information about plans a clause on building skyscrapers. We added the price and description “fast and highly interactive” and call it a tower building game. The second sentence is sort of awkward and we’d rather leave the reader with $10 as a point of interest. We’re also still wasting words at the beginning, by saying “Supertall is a game where…” We don’t need to clarify that we’re talking about Supertall.
In its place, we want a word that will excite players right off the bat. Tell players what they are doing in the game. “Build skyscrapers” is Ok, but build is a little boring. “Plan skyscrapers” is even worse. But “Design” is a more interesting behavior, because it’s active instead of passive, and suggests a level of skill is involved. Also, we aren’t just building skyscrapers, lets add some wording to show that these are special. “Design the next world-class skyscraper. A fast and highly interactive tower building game for 2-3 players. Only $10!”
OK, now we’re getting closer. The first part is active and interesting. The second part is descriptive, but is still a bit clunky. And rather than say that it’s fast and interactive, lets tell players why. Plus we’re just calling players “players”. So that gets us to the final iteration. “Design world-class skyscrapers. 2-3 architects compete and collaborate in this fast and highly interactive game for only $10.” Most of the words are now descriptive of the theme and player actions. “design” “world-class” “architects”. “Compete and collaborate” tells you it’s competitive but still strategic. The whole thing flows much better.
When you describe your game, value the reader’s time. Make the most out of your space. Get rid of all the extra connector words and be as direct as possible whether you’re describing the mechanics, theme, or experience. Don’t just say “this is what happens”. Take all the potential in the game and make it kinetic. Describe what is happening, as if players are active right now. Because you’re not just trying to get players interested to hear about the game, you’re trying to get the players interested in playing the game.
As usual, there’s not a road map, but this hopefully gives you some strategies to apply when you’re working on writing your game up, whether it’s for marketing, making a sell sheet, planning your pitch, or even explaining the rules. Try to get to the experience as quickly as possible.